Tolkien vs. Lewis

   I've been a bit busy with college lately, but I wrote this poem between classes the other day, so here you go.

There once were two bookworms
Who stood in the snow
Chatting and smiling
With nowhere to go.

“I think this is Narnia,”
One bookworm said.
“It looks just like the pictures
I have in my head.”

“Oh, no, my dear hobbit,”
The other replied.
“We are stuck in the mountains
Of Caradhras white.

“Can’t you hear the foul voice,
The cruel air on the wind?
If we don't turn back now
We'll by goblins be pinned.”

“I must disagree,”
The first bookworm grew firm.
“The White Witch resides here,
Not great Smaug, the foul worm.

“The bare trees all around,
The spring touch in the air,
I can almost hear bells,
Or spy Tumnus’s lair.”

“Your blindness is only
Eclipsed by your dumbness.
Smaug, that old foul dragon,
Lives nowhere near Tumnus.

“A Balrog lives under
Old Caradhras fair.
Dale is the home
Of the foul dragon’s lair.”

“Well, excuse me for not
Knowing much about Tolkien.
That topic is fit for
No one but old men.

“Give me Aslan and Lucy
And all that good stuff!
No more elves or old folklore.
Who has time for that stuff?”

A confused, lonely bookworm
Looked on from the side.
“Don’t you realize,” he said,
“You don’t have to decide?

“You don’t understand it;
You don’t have to fight.
This can be both those places.
You both can be right.”

The two angry bookworms
Lashed out at the man.
How could they love both
Belov’d fantasy lands?

“There can be no agreement
Betwixt us this day!”
“All right,” said the third man.
“Then have it your way.”

The third man moved on,
Leaving them to their fight;
Two bookworms convinced
That they can’t both be right.

   What do you think? Do you take Tolkien's side or Lewis's side, or do you like them both? Is it possible to be a fan of both Middle-Earth AND Narnia? (jk, of course it is!)

Ode to Spring

The cold of winter days is past

The warmth of spring has come at last

With endless sheets of driving rain

Spring has traveled south again.

I watch temperatures rise with dread,

Pain now pounding in my head.

Still winter yet, calendars say,

Yet pollen counts debuted today.

The shortest month, the longest weeks,

Though branches bare, the stuffed nose speaks.

All senses say spring is not here,

But pollen makes the issue clear.

Flowers spring up all around,

Farmers note with trepidation.

Stomach aches, sneezes abound,

Time to buy the medication.

White petals fly throughout the air

Pleasing all the brides

Not so wonderful to bear

Are runny, weepy eyes.

One medication doesn't work,

Must resort to two.

Three would be still better yet,

But now I have the flu.

Thunderstorms sweep through and bring

Yet more winter weather

Still pollen counts make all folks wish

We'd all flown north together.

The northern states rejoice and sing.

At last, they cry out, this is spring!

The Southerners watch in disdain

As pollen falls like summer rain.

At last, relief is on its way,

Since finally, the month is May.

The heat comes soon with blazing madness

When flowers die with tears and gladness.

Regretfully, spring is no more,

The flowers gone from every door.

Yet, happiness spreads 'midst the pain:

Now, with the heat, we breathe again.

The Disney Parents Theme Song

   I was musing on the tendency of Disney parents to inevitably die and decided to write a parody about it. I wrote it to the tune of The Monkees Theme Song. If you're not familiar with it, I've provided it down below. What do you think of this parody? Tell me in the comments!

Here we come

Onto your TV

We get these suspicious looks from

Ev’ryone we meet

Hey, we’re Disney parents

We’re parents and we’re gonna die

We’re too busy dyin’

And makin’ ev’rybody cry

Nobody ever is safe, ‘cause

They’re Disney parents, too

You don’t have time to get ‘ttached, ‘fore

They’re also dying, too

Hey, we’re Disney parents

We’re parents and we’re gonna die

We’re too busy dyin’

And makin’ ev’rybody cry

We never are diff’rent

We never ever stick around

We’ve scarred all generations

From Bambi all the way down

Any time

Or anywhere

If it’s a Disney movie

We will be dying there!

Hey, we’re Disney parents

We’re parents and we’re gonna die

We’re too busy dyin’

And makin’ ev’rybody cry

Hey, we’re Disney parents

We’re parents and we’re gonna die

We’re too busy dyin’

And makin’ ev’rybody cry

We never are diff’rent

We never ever stick around

We’ve scarred all generations

From Bambi all the way down

Hey, we’re Disney parents

Hey, we’re Disney parents

Epitaph of a Bookworm

I wrote this poem the other day while writing my name in all the books I got from a library book sale.

To whoever gets my books

When I am passed away:

Treat them kindly, love them well;

Give them a place to stay.

Be nice to Frodo; put him somewhere

He can feel the sun.

Keep Long John Silver close nearby,

And do not mind his fun.

Captain Nemo was good to me;

Make sure to give him love.

Peter Pan needs your tender care,

And please mend Hamlet's glove.

The Psammead will gladly grant

A daily wish for you.

And if you serve some tea and toast,

Tumnus will come at two.

Don't forget to feed the dogs.

Let Lassie out at three.

Pongo and Missus take walks in the park,

And Lad has guard duty.

Winnie-the-Pooh and Toto, too,

Will help you as you go.

They'll teach you how to care for all 

My friends I've come to know.

The books that I bequeath to you

Have taken me far from home.

I have passed them on to you.

It is now your turn to roam.