Lessons From a Crappy Movie

So I just watched the 2008 movie Jumper. I honestly only watched it to see Hayden Christensen's acting skills in a movie other than a Star Wars one. And with that, I was suitably impressed. Dude can act, y'all. But the movie itself (and I knew this from the start) is kind of crappy.

Don't get me wrong, the premise is great and has tons of potential, a man who has teleporting powers and is hunted by an organization that wants to kill all teleporters. But the movie had several mistakes along the way that turned what could have been a great movie into a lackluster one.

The biggest problem was that the writers didn't trust their viewers to understand the backstory without voiceover. The first couple of scenes are filled with voiceover from the main character, David (Hayden Christensen). Voiceover in movies is always risky because it's the epitome of telling instead of showing. And us writers know that's a big no-no in most cases.

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The thing I noticed, though, was that the movie didn't even need the voiceover. All the things in the voiceover were shared through the scenes. The emotional beats were strong on their own and would have impacted the viewer much more than they did with the voiceover. The voiceover cheapened the emotional beats that could have made the beginning of the movie strong.

The second problem that doomed the movie was David himself. Hayden Christensen played him very well, no doubt, but the writers gave their protagonist no redeemable qualities and no reason for the viewers to root for him. David was an objectively bad person. He robs banks to fund his lavish lifestyle of hopping around the world with his teleporting ability vacationing all the time. Nevertheless, he could have been a sympathetic character viewers rooted for with just one simple action.

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A common term for making antiheros likeable is "petting the pooch." If in the beginning of his kind of crappy lifestyle, David had pet a pooch, then that could have solved the likeability problem. This didn't need to be literally petting a dog, though. In fact, the movie had the perfect opportunity to have David pet the pooch. After the beginning set-up scenes, David is zipping around his apartment filled with pictures of his travels, generally having a good time and living for himself. He turns on the TV and watches a brief news clip of people stranded in a flood. The reporter even says that there's no way to get those people out. David takes this clip in, and what does he do?

He hops up, gathers a bag, and travels to London to pick up a hot date. He then travels to Fiji, which was just hit by a big storm, so he can catch some large waves.

Jeez. Talk about insensitive.

If, instead, David had used his buildup of supplies and money to help the stranded people and then gone on his vacation, that would have presented an interesting dichotomy, where he is using his gift compassionately, yet also doing terrible things with it and living a pretty selfish life. This simple change could have given viewers a reason to root for David.

One more simple change could have brought this movie up from lame and forgettable to memorable. This is the acceptance of moral nuance and introduction of a character arc. David, a selfish Jumper, is chased by a fanatical organization that wants to kill him simply for possessing his abilities. The movie uses this plot to emphasize the message "Murder bad, David good." However, there were seeds of complexity that could have enhanced the movie if capitalized on. For instance, the main bad guy (he was played by Samuel L. Jackson, so he was too Samuel L. Jackson for his name to register) tells David that all of the Jumpers, even if they start out good, always end up using their abilities for selfish ends, which in his mind justifies murdering them all. This claim actually is a fairly valid one, coming from the classic Invisible Ring scenario, which posits that any normal man, given an invisible ring, would become completely immoral and selfish, taking whatever he wanted because he has the power to do so.

David protests that he's different, but this conversation, which should have come earlier in the movie, could have been the impetus of his character arc (which was practically nonexistent in the movie). David is different, in that he didn't have a slow slide to selfishness but started out that way. A slow realization of his selfish behavior, and that he actually does fit the reasons Samuel L. Jackson wanted to kill him, could have slowly transformed him from the selfish man living for himself to the man you got a glimpse of in the pet the pooch moment we didn't have. In the end, without the character arc, David ends up in pretty much the same place he started out in, as does the bad guy, except for the fact that David has a girlfriend now.

Hayden Christensen is a good actor, but the writers for this movie really dropped the ball.

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I'm Alive!

 I bet you thought I wouldn't be back, didn't you?

Silly you.

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So what have I been up to in my six-month-long blog absence?

I went to Realmmakers.

And had a great time! (No younglings were harmed in the making of this photo.)

I learned a lot about writing and injuries and had a bunch of fun with my sister and Jaye L. Knight and Tricia Mingerink, my roomies. Definitely recommend! (Although my bank account cried because of it.)

I got all As in my college classes!

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I just about went crazy doing it, but I survived! 

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I wrote a bunch of Star Wars fanfiction!

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And I'm not even sorry. It kept me sane while my brain was sucked away by papers and I had none left to get unstuck in my original work.

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I learned some things in my foray into the world of fanfiction along with having a great time. 

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First of all, no one understands how to spell discreet. It's not discrete, it's discreet. Merlin did not sneak down the hallway like a whole number, he snuck down the hallway attracting little notice. 

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There is no such thing as Force suppressors besides ysalamiri, yet people are obsessed with putting it in their works. 

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Most Star Wars fans that write fanfiction take the side of Anakin without stopping to consider that the other characters had very valid points and that Anakin's view is incredibly colored and biased.

#disappointedbutnotsurprised

Also, some people in this world really need Jesus.

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I have been horrified by some of the ships out there. Padme/Han, Leia/Boba Fett, Luke/Boba Fett, Luke/Din Djarin, Anakin/Ahsoka, Jango/Obi-Wan, Vader/Tarkin, Ahsoka/Maul...

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What is wrong with some of you guys?

Also, I really wish books had AO3 tags. It would make it so much easier to find the books I want to read without being shocked by main characters dying at the end, making me want to throw the book across the room (but I can't because it's on Kindle. Ugh.) Enemies-to-Lovers, Angst with a happy ending, Hurt/Comfort, Whump... I just need AO3 tags on my books, please.

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Not related to fanfiction, I have learned I really hate the old people Facebook memes bashing the current generation because back in the Revolution they were real men, not wimps, they didn't have allergies and chronic illnesses and mental health issues and such.

I read a lot of great books!

And some...not so great ones.

What even was that incest plotline in City of Bones? Why would you write that? What is wrong with that author? Somebody spent a little too much time watching The Empire Strikes Back.

And Jesus and John Wayne was just...there are no words.

I also got a cat!

Isn't he a beauty? I named him Pippin and it fits so well, crazy guy.

All in all, it hasn't been a bad year. Here's to a new one in which I don't drop off the face of the earth for six months!

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Soial Distancing Fun

   Because quarantine is frying my brain, this post is going to be disjointed and random. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

   I saw a post recently on Buzzfeed about what people would do if they became God, and over half the people said, "Give proof that I exist." Obviously, that infuriated me, and while I could talk for a while about how much evidence there is for God's existence and how if God literally coming to Earth and dying for us isn't enough, nothing is, but instead, I'll leave all those people that complain about nobody being able to "prove" God's existence with this: Philosophers can barely prove that they themselves exist. They're not really sure about you. Everything else could easily be a fever dream; there's no proof either way. You really expect them to be able to prove the existence of a higher power? You expect too much of them, my friend.

   I'm the only history major in my Western Civ class, and so I understand that I'm going to be the student that usually knows the answers to the professor's questions, but some of the stuff is so obvious that there should be other people that know it, like what the Rosetta Stone is. There's one of two things going on here: either nobody remembers anything they ever learned in history, even if they just learned it a semester ago, or other people know things and I'm the only person who feels like speaking up. Either way, I'm not impressed.

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   What is everyone else doing with their quarantine? I'm procrastinating.

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   On the subject of quarantine, everything's shut down in my state right now, which means I get to keep the thirteen books I had out from different libraries for, like, about two or three months; in other words, long enough to actually read them all. Naturally, of course, instead of reading my library books, I'm rereading Ilyon Chronicles, listening to audiobooks I digitally borrowed, and doing my 2000-piece Star Wars puzzle. How can there be so many plain blue pieces in one puzzle?

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   I'm also using this time to work on my current novel, which, somewhat appropriately, is a dystopian. Not featured in my novel, however, are pandemics, toilet paper shortages, or social distancing. Instead, I've been writing about brutal interrogations, labor camps, "brutal" eighty-degree summers in northern New York (so jealous, tbh), and impending medical experimentation. Included in my research for this novel is brainwashing, the effects of tasing, and the soil composition of New York. Also bench presses, for reasons.

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Why the Movie Industry is Being Ruined

   What is the principle purpose of a movie?

   If you said anything other than "entertainment," you're doing it wrong.

   Many people nowadays would protest this. Movies these days should be promoting diversity, empowering women, revealing the flaws in our society, abolishing racism, fighting for minorities, trying to make a difference, they say. Many, many moviemakers these days are stating exactly these reasons for making movies. These kinds of moviemakers have made it into Star Wars. They've just recently made it into Marvel. They've been making DC TV shows for years and ruining many various sequels, remakes, and reboots. 

   What's the problem with promoting diversity, empowering women, abolishing racism, or just trying to make a difference in the world? Nothing necessarily, but let's go back to the core of why movies and TV shows exist. Tell me, what are they all a part of? The entertainment industry. Why do people spend their money on the entertainment industry? Is it so they can watch a feature-length sermon on why God exists? Is it to be yelled at for not recycling enough? Is it to watch a twenty-minute docudrama on the evils of war profiteering? Not likely. People go to the entertainment industry to be entertained. And it seems that the movies coming out of the entertainment industry just aren't very entertaining these days.

   Just look at Star Wars. The Original Trilogy was fun, and despite what the media claims, was beloved by people from all walks of life, not just fat nerdy fanboys who spend all their time reading comic books and oppressing women (or something like that). In fact, Star Wars became beloved all the world over, by people that couldn't be more different. Star Wars was entertaining, and its basic themes appealed to everyone. The Prequel Trilogy came out and wasn't as beloved because it wasn't as good quality (poor George really should have hired someone else to write the dialogue) and therefore wasn't as entertaining.

   Then along came the Sequel Trilogy. The Force Awakens was pretty good, and fairly entertaining. It was a fun new space adventure with more universal good-and-evil themes that appeal to everyone. It made fans were excited for the new Star Wars movie. And then The Last Jedi came out. Remember my comment about a twenty-minute length docudrama on the evils of war profiteering? Yeah, that was referring to this movie. The bulk of The Last Jedi seemed about war profiteering, animal abuse (but not child abuse, even though there were child slaves), how powerful women are (to the point of not rehiring all of the ethnically and species diverse men that worked for the Resistance in The Force Awakens, which took place in the story five minutes before The Last Jedi), and featuring a token Asian woman that had no relevance to the plot whatsoever. Most of the rest of the movie was just badly put together. It wasn't an entertaining movie at all, it was a dividing movie that wasn't fun to watch and felt very preachy. No escape was to be found here. Yet the primary force behind the movie, Rian Johnson, continues to insult fans that point out the seeming agenda and the failed writing in The Last Jedi, calling them racist manbabies, and ignoring that no one cares what the message is in The Last Jedi, they just don't want their movie to be about it.

   The divide between moviemakers' goals and moviegoers' wants makes me think, of all things, of a Trivial Pursuit question: What was Adolf Hitler's favorite movie? It wasn't a movie heralding the triumph of the Aryan race. It wasn't a movie featuring a Jewish person as the bad guy. It wasn't a movie about the successes of eugenics. It wasn't even a movie with Germans in it. It was the 1930s King Kong, and that wasn't because there are hidden Nazi ideologies in the movie, but because he thought the special effects were really cool and it was a really entertaining movie. Not even someone as good at propaganda as Hitler came to movies to be preached at. Even though the Nazis spewed out propaganda galore, Adolf Hitler's favorite movie wasn't a piece of Nazi propaganda but a universally entertaining movie.

   Why has making movies and TV shows stopped being about entertaining people and become about propaganda? If your primary motive is to champion a cause, you shouldn't make movies. You should start an organization, a charity, or a political movement. Movies, TV shows, and anything that is a part of the entertainment industry, exists first and foremost to entertain. If they fail at that, they are missing their primary purpose for existing. Remember, George Lucas wanted to promote New Age philosophy with Star Wars. He wanted to teach everyone about moral relativism with the story, but he focused first and foremost on making a good, entertaining story. He didn't exactly spread New Ageism all over the world, and he failed spectacularly in making Star Wars about moral relativism, but he made a really amazing story that is popular all over the world. He knew that the job of a movie was to entertain first and if it didn't do that, it wasn't worth making.

   So, if you want to make a movie, and your primary purpose is anything other than entertaining viewers, please, do us all a favor: run for office instead. If you want to make a difference, go into politics. If you want to entertain people, lift them up, make them smile, and give them a reason to keep going, by all means, make movies.

Why I Don't Like Harry Potter (Hint: It's Not the Magic)

  I was never banned from reading Harry Potter as a kid. I remember all the hullaballoo when the last book in the series was coming out and everyone was reading it. The commercials for all the movies were on TV when I was growing up. My mom said if I really wanted to read it, I could. But I didn't. See, I loved fantasy to death, still do, probably always will, but I never was interested in Harry Potter. The commercials on TV for the movies didn't intrigue me, they freaked me out. They looked really dark and they disturbed me. The commercials for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince especially creeped me out. And my mom said she'd read the first book, and while she didn't see the problem with the magic a lot of Christians brought up, she felt that Harry Potter was not a good person, that he used his magic for revenge and the whole book was filled with ends-justifies-the-means philosophy.

   I got older, read a lot more fantasy, and saw the Harry Potter books at pretty much every Goodwill I ever went to. I started watching Studio C and they brought up Harry Potter in several of their sketches. And soon I acquired a new reason I didn't want to bother with Harry Potter: it sounded boring. And completely unoriginal. My sister working at the library saw snippets of the books while gluing them and wasn't intrigued at all.

   Fast-forward to a couple of weeks ago. I'd been tossing around the idea of reading it for a while. After all, it is a cultural phenomenon, and I'd like to understand all the references I can't escape from. And I would like to be able to take a stand in the magic debate over Harry Potter. So I finally bit the bullet and read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.

   Oh glory.

   Let's get the magic out of the way: all of the hullaballoo about the magic of Harry Potter is just that. There's nothing about it that makes me uncomfortable. The wizards and witches aren't drawing power from the devil to power their magic. They are born with the ability to do magic. Simple as that. They go to Hogwarts to learn how to do it better, like having a natural talent with the piano and taking lessons to use that and improve. And there is a part of magic that is dark magic that the good characters are not supposed to do, and they only keep stuff about it at Hogwarts so they can know how to defend against it. I think the terminology is mainly what scares most Christians (witches, wizards, and the very word "magic"). The spells that are supposedly "real spells used by real witches" are just Latin or Greek words, sometimes altered a bit or paired to sound better. The only actual "spell" is Avada Kedavra, which is the original form of, you guessed it, abracadabra. Apparently the original purpose was to cure illness and J.K. Rowling twisted the meaning a little to suit her book purposes. It might be lazy writing, but it's certainly not actual witchcraft. If the magic was the sole mark against the book, I would have no qualms handing this book to a small child.

   But of course it's not just the magic. That wasn't the reason my mom didn't like it, after all. And it's not the reason I didn't like it, either.

   Here we go. (Spoiler warning, by the way. Don't read any further if you don't want the book spoiled for you.)

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   The first chapter is completely pointless. It doesn't need to be there. All the information in it is shared again later in the book. It doesn't even really have the main character in it. It serves no point and could have been cut completely.

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   Also, the way Dumbledore handled the whole thing with Harry's custody was completely horrible. If he was just going to leave Harry to be raised by Muggles anyway, why did he send Hagrid to get Harry before the officials could arrive at the scene only to dump Harry on the Dursley's doorstep and go away? If Dumbledore was going to knock on the door and explain to the Dursleys everything that happened, maybe consider actually telling them about the death of their family in person, delivering Harry like that might have made sense. But no, he just wrote a letter and left a baby on a literal doorstep, expecting everything to be all right. If he had just left Harry to the Muggle foster care system, Harry might have ended up with relatives or a foster family that actually wanted him. At the very least, the Dursleys would have had to choose to take Harry in, which might have made them a little less resentful towards him.

   Once we finally get to truly meet the main character, we are clobbered over the head with how abused Harry is and how we need to feel sorry for him. Well, I don't. No, the Dursleys aren't all that nice to Harry, but they aren't really that abusive, either. So he sleeps in a closet. Big deal. He's fed and clothed, and the worst abuse he gets is from bullies at school, which happens to too many kids to make him an object of pity. Percy Jackson was abused much more by his stepfather than Harry ever is by his family. Compared to him, Harry's doing pretty great.

   And you know what? I'm just going to say it. Harry Potter doesn't have much of a personality.

   

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   Yeah, yeah, I know, he's the main character, but he's a cardboard cutout with a scar and an undeserved talent and a tendency to jerkiness and bad behavior. Never once in the whole book does he do anything remotely heroic. And actually, he's kind of a brat.

   Sure, Dudley's a spoiled brat, but Harry's no better. The first time we see poor wittle orphan Harry actually do something, he's screaming at his uncle to give him his letter. He didn't even try asking nicely, no, simply resorted to screaming at the top of his lungs. He's sarcastic and rude, and he's frankly horrible. Once he learns about the existence of magic, he immediately is drawn to a book all about curses and is upset when Hagrid drags him away from it because he wants to learn how to curse his family. He develops an immediate hatred of Draco Malfoy even though he hadn't done much yet except be a snob. Harry hopes throughout the year that Draco will get expelled or fail his exams.

   Harry constantly sneaks around and breaks the rules, sometimes just so he can show Draco Malfoy up. Even when he's not sneaking out to duel with Draco Malfoy, he's meddling in things that are none of his business. He doesn't need to know anything about the attempted thefts at the Gringotts bank. He's a kid, and if the adults aren't telling him things, that's because it's none of his business. There's only one point in the book where he actually considers following the rules, and that's portrayed as a bad thing. (Thank goodness Harry snapped out of it! Imagine if he actually considered properly respecting authority!) That's one of the worst things about it. There's nothing wrong with kids making mistakes and learning from them, breaking the rules and being punished. But Harry never actually is punished. When a teacher tells the kids to stay on the ground and not fly around to prevent injury to themselves and others, Harry gets in a fight with Draco Malfoy, is caught flying pretty high up in the air, and, when pulled aside by the teacher, doesn't get scolded at all. No, the teacher breaks the rules herself to reward him by putting him on the quidditch team, even though first-years aren't allowed on the quidditch team. When Harry breaks many, many rules by breaking through all the defenses for the sorcerer's stone (mostly by using his friends, because apparently Harry is incapable of doing any actual magic besides flying), he's not punished. Not even a "you delayed Voldemort so good for you, but you also broke many rules, so you're also going to be punished, because rules are there for a good reason and we don't want you getting the idea you can break them whenever you want." No, Harry gets rewarded. Rewarded! For breaking the rules and hurting his friend. Sure, Dumbledore, Harry's a real hero.

   That leads to another bad thing: Harry is a teacher's pet, and one of the biggest Mary Sues I've ever seen. He's such a teacher's pet that he concludes the one teacher that doesn't like him must be allied with Voldemort and trying to kill him, when really that teacher was trying to save his ungrateful life. Everybody but Snape loves Harry. Harry is rich and famous. Harry's very talented with magic. Harry's parents were great wizards. Harry defeated Voldemort as a baby and almost killed him. Harry saved the Sorcerer's Stone. (Actually, Harry endangered the Sorcerer's Stone. The Mirror of Erised was the only way to get it, and Quirrel couldn't get it when he looked into it. Even with all the other defenses gone, it was still well-protected until Harry blundered in.) Harry got into the best magic school out there without even applying. Harry's in the best house in said school. Harry was given an invisible cloak and the best broomstick out there by his teachers. Harry won the quidditch game. Sure, Harry flubbed it up by being caught breaking the rules, but he won the house championship anyway by breaking the rules again. And Harry defeated Voldemort (again!) by doing absolutely nothing (again!) because his mother loved him very much and that means evil people can't touch him. Or something. (Which doesn't make much sense, but most things in this book don't make sense.) Most of the teachers love him. Dumbledore gave him an invisible cloak. Yes, his father used to own it, but did it never occur to Dumbledore that maybe he should wait until Harry is older and more mature to give him such a powerful gift with such potential for abuse? And the whole quidditch thing is ridiculous. Quidditch is supposed to be hard and take hard work to get good at. But special little Harry, who's never even heard of quidditch until a few weeks ago, can fly and play and be the best Seeker Hogwarts has ever seen just because apparently his dad was good at quidditch.

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   Skill with quidditch or soccer or any other sport can't be passed down through genetics like a good nose or a nice singing voice. And just because Harry has some talent doesn't mean he should be able to master a sport like that. It should take him years of training and strategy and practice and actually working out to get a skill level like that in a sport, or in anything, really. I have some talent with the piano, but it took eleven years of lessons to get to the skill level I'm at today. And if I have kids, they aren't going to be able to just sit down at the piano and play Maple Leaf Rag just because I can play it after many years of practice. It doesn't work like that in the real world and it shouldn't work like that with Harry, either.

   But don't worry, haters of Mary Sue-ness and magic in general. Aside from the flying and one accident with a snake, Harry performs no magic whatsoever in the book at all. He's shown attempting a grand total of one spell, and that's an epic failure. Ron's the one that defeated the troll, and Hermione's the one that unlocks the doors and stops poor Neville from doing the right thing, and Ron wins the chess game, and Hermione solves the puzzle. All Harry does is play the flute badly and meddle in things that are none of his business. Oh, and live. The Boy Who Lived is very good at living. I can't believe he's considered the hero in all this. He doesn't even defeat Voldemort at the end. Dumbledore does that. Harry just manages to live long enough to be rescued.

   Let's talk about Voldemort, shall we? Does anyone actually know what he's trying to do? I get that he kills lots of people, and that's not good, but why? What does Voldemort actually want? What is his purpose? Does he want to take over the wizarding world or all of the world or does he just like killing people? Most dark lords have a purpose and a plan, but I really can't figure out what in the world Voldemort was ever trying to do.

   There are other things in the book that are just too convenient. How considerate of Voldemort to wait until Harry had figured out his plan to make his move! He could have made his move any time after he figured out how to calm Fluffy, or any time after he drank the unicorn blood. He could have lured Dumbledore away from Hogwarts with a note any time, but he considerately waited until Harry knew about it so he could warn Dumbledore and follow Voldemort. How kind of him!

   On that note, how in the heck did Quirrel get through Snape's defenses? Harry and Hermione said there was only enough potion in the bottle for one person to drink, and Harry drank it. There was no sign that Quirrel had ever been there.

   Rowling seems to have confused the old writing adage of "Show, don't tell," into "Tell, don't show." Or perhaps she was just being lazy. Very little is actually shown in the story. Hermione figuring out Snape's defense isn't shown. The chess game isn't shown. The quidditch games aren't shown. Harry's "torturous" classes with Snape aren't shown. Hermione actually becoming close friends with Ron and Harry isn't shown (she just says, "There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other," ignoring the fact that not being hostile to each other anymore and becoming close friends are two different animals). The school's hatred for Harry isn't shown. It's no wonder people say the movie is better than the book. Movies have to show things!

   Then there's the fact that Harry's instinctual magic can only be used via negative emotions, and the fact that Hogwarts is socialist. Don't believe me? They practice collective punishments and rewards for each house. Students don't have demerits, they get points taken away from their houses. If students do something good, points go to the collective house pool. If houses win quidditch games, they add points to the pool. If students are caught sneaking out at night, they lose points from the pool. Gryffindor's legitimate quidditch win is taken away because Harry was caught sneaking around at night. No wonder the students start to hate him. Afterwards, Slytherin wins more quidditch matches, so they win the "house championship", a contest designed to reward houses for being over-all better than all the other houses. Nothing wrong with sports championships, guys. And in the end, in the most contrived happy ending I've seen, Dumbledore steals the championship from Slytherin by giving loads of points to Harry "for courage", Hermione "for logic", Ron "for being good at chess", and a little to poor Neville for actually doing the right thing. So of course Gryffindor wins the cup, not evil Slytherin. Which is another thing. Why is there a bully house at Hogwarts? Hagrid straight up tells Harry, "Oh yeah, all the nastiest magicians come from there and everyone in Slytherin's a jerk." Why even have that house if all it does is encourage bad behavior (even more than the rest of the school)? The demeaning attitude towards Slytherin surely doesn't help matters any. And the demeaning attitude towards muggles is not okay, either. The wizarding world isn't real! Why is J.K. Rowling racist towards anyone that's not a part of it? And Hogwarts isn't the only magic school. Why do they ban people from using their natural talents over the summer or if they're expelled? That seems oppressive and wrong.

   And last but not least, the most stupid thing of all is the fact that the wizarding world is kept secret. Why, Harry asks, doesn't anyone know about magic? Well, Hagrid says, if muggles knew about magic, they'd want to use it to solve all the world's problems. What exactly is the point of having magic if you're not willing to help people with it? What do wizards do when they graduate from Hogwarts? Just help the wizarding world? Go around cursing people that were mean to them? It sounds like a lazy excuse to have the wizarding world a secret, not a good reason. More lazy writing, if you ask me.

   I'll end this with something from the end of the book. The Dursleys come to pick up Harry at the end of the school year. Uncle Vernon doesn't gush over Harry's return and is impatient to leave. Hermione's response? She is "shocked that anyone could be so unpleasant."

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   I'm shocked that anyone could be so unsubtle about how sorry we're supposed to feel for Harry and how awful the Dursleys are(n't).

   Some say that it doesn't get good until the third book, so I might try continuing the series. But I certainly wouldn't recommend this book to anyone, much less give it to a small child. There are a few somewhat entertaining aspects, but they are overwhelmed by the bad writing and bad morals. I can somewhat understand why kids like it, because they don't know any better, but all the people that read this as teens or adults? Why? There's not really that great friendship, and it's not good vs. evil. There aren't good people in this book (besides maybe Neville). Most of it is boring anyway. I just don't understand how this series got so popular. Must have been the marketing.
   (Sorry for the very long post, I had a lot to say, and didn't really think it should be split in two.)

New Time Captives Covers!

   Today's the day, the sun is shining, the tank is clean, and we are getting out of... *gasp* The tank is clean! (#sorrynotsorry)

This isn't the right fish (and sea stars aren't fish), but anyway

   (You didn't think you'd get the covers that easily, now did you?)

   My sister has new covers for her Time Captives trilogy and they're super awesome!!! Here they are!!!

   Nope.

   Okay, I'll stop playing around, here they actually are:

For giveaways, purchase links, and more, visit www.morganhuneke.blogspot.com!

https://morganhuneke.blogspot.com/2019/05/the-new-covers-for-time-captives-are.html

   “No one can mysteriously disappear leaving no trace. It isn’t realistic.”

   “You’re right, Emily,” her grandfather said thoughtfully. “It isn’t realistic. However, a good many things happen in this world that are not realistic, things supernatural.”

   Emily, Allan, Jill, Joey, and Anna have grown up on their grandfather’s tales of ancestors who mysteriously disappeared from Creighton Hill, the plantation home that has been in their family for centuries. When Grampa’s death forces them to move into Creighton Hill, the truth about the supposed disappearances is the first thing on their minds. Allan, Jill, Joey, and Anna’s, that is. As for Emily, why must they keep at their supernatural hogwash?

   Could it be that their family really does just have an unusual history of early deaths? Most people seem to think so. But Grampa’s research has uncovered something different.

   When mysterious writing matching descriptions found in ancient accounts begins appearing to the children, they know something’s up. They must find out what really happened to their ancestors, and work together to discover the reason behind the mysterious writings.

   Creighton Hill is the first book of the Time Captives trilogy, a tale of faith, family, fantasy, and a fight for truth and freedom.

Buy now!

   “M’lady, it has been fairly well confirmed that the Redona was hidden away by the merfolk at the conclusion of the Great War instead of destroyed as was commanded. My brother has confirmed to me Joseph’s belief that it was concealed at the Crossways.”

   Toarna pressed her fingertips together in thought. “It must be recovered and destroyed as was at first intended.”

   Emily, Allan, Jill, and Joey have been reunited with their long lost ancestors. But with that reunion comes the true beginning of their quest: free the rightful king of Calhortz so that he may be restored to his throne. The Redona, the only object that can free him from his long imprisonment, is rumored to be concealed in The Crossways, a mountain across the sea which cannot be entered.

   A slave since birth, Adriel’s resentment and hatred towards the strytes only grows as his family is continually ripped from him. He longs for the freedom the Time Captives are prophesied to bring, but he doubts their existence, just as he doubts God’s love. Circumstances in Calhortz are so dire. How could they ever improve?

   Who can enter The Crossways? Will the king ever be freed? Or will the slaves of Calhortz lose all hope of freedom before it is even offered to them?

   The Crossways is the second book of the Time Captives trilogy, a tale of faith, family, fantasy, and a fight for truth and freedom.

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   God, please look after Adriel. Keep him safe and keep him from acting foolish. And please help him to be able to find me. Rae knew she could trust God to look after both of them. It was all she had now.

   The Time Captives have been reunited. The rightful king has been freed. Now all that remains is to defeat the strytes who still hold a tyrannical rule over the people of Calhortz. But with their lack of soldiers, it’s a task that is easier said than done. They need allies, but are they worth it when it requires facing ghosts from their pasts?

   Returning to his home country only brings the loss of Adriel’s family to the forefront of his mind. His determination to find Rae has never ceased, but now that determination could potentially destroy all that he and the Time Captives have been working towards. And his new-found faith may not be able to withstand the challenge.

   Will they be able to set aside their personal struggles for the sake of the freedom of all or will they allow their pasts to consume them? Will they manage to win back Crannig Castle from the rule of the strytes? The fate of Calhortz hangs in the balance.

   Crannig Castle is the final book of the Time Captives trilogy, a tale of faith, family, fantasy, and a fight for truth and freedom.

Buy now!

Giveaway

Morgan will be giving away a complete set of brand new Time Captives books! Be sure to enter! Giveaway open to U.S. residents only.

Rafflecopter code:

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Rafflecopter link: http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/63d9bc8b9/

Ode to Spring

The cold of winter days is past

The warmth of spring has come at last

With endless sheets of driving rain

Spring has traveled south again.

I watch temperatures rise with dread,

Pain now pounding in my head.

Still winter yet, calendars say,

Yet pollen counts debuted today.

The shortest month, the longest weeks,

Though branches bare, the stuffed nose speaks.

All senses say spring is not here,

But pollen makes the issue clear.

Flowers spring up all around,

Farmers note with trepidation.

Stomach aches, sneezes abound,

Time to buy the medication.

White petals fly throughout the air

Pleasing all the brides

Not so wonderful to bear

Are runny, weepy eyes.

One medication doesn't work,

Must resort to two.

Three would be still better yet,

But now I have the flu.

Thunderstorms sweep through and bring

Yet more winter weather

Still pollen counts make all folks wish

We'd all flown north together.

The northern states rejoice and sing.

At last, they cry out, this is spring!

The Southerners watch in disdain

As pollen falls like summer rain.

At last, relief is on its way,

Since finally, the month is May.

The heat comes soon with blazing madness

When flowers die with tears and gladness.

Regretfully, spring is no more,

The flowers gone from every door.

Yet, happiness spreads 'midst the pain:

Now, with the heat, we breathe again.

Why "Save-the-World" Stories Are Usually Boring

   In all this craze of superhero movies, most of the movies we see nowadays are about saving the world. In fact, many, many, many books, movies, and TV shows are about this very subject: Lord of the Rings, Makilien Trilogy, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 1 & 2, Avengers, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Avengers: Infinity War, Thor: Ragnarok, Iron Man, Thor: The Dark World, The War of the Worlds, Independence Day, Star Wars, Doctor Who: the Movie, Tomorrow Land, Harry Potter, Superman, Dreamlander, Armageddon, War Games (and almost every other Cold War movie), the Lunar Chronicles, the Ilyon Chronicles, Batman Begins, 24, Star Trek IV, Raiders of the Lost Ark, about half of the books in the Fantasy genre, and of course, many, many more. With all the diversity of fiction on this list, what is the most common theme between all save-the-world stories?

   Most of them are boring.

   Why, though? Shouldn't saving the world be something we all care about? After all, every one of us lives in the world. It should be the ultimate relatable story.

   Far from being the ultimate relatable story, however, save-the-world stories are often the ultimate unrelatable story. After all, few if none of us have ever been in a position where the entire world is in danger. All of us, however, have probably been in a situation where our country was in considerable danger, which marks the big difference between save-the-country stories and save-the-world stories.

   It's very easy to understand why a protagonist would want to save his country: because he loves it (or because he lives in it; you know, practicality and all that). Though there are some people that do not love their country, I'm willing to bet there are many more that do. Most protagonists of save-the-country stories attempt to save their country because they love it, they live in it, they desire to defend their home, or they just don't want them and their family or friends to die. Very relatable.

   However, most protagonists of save-the-world stories attempt to save the world "because it's the right thing to do."

   Excuse me?

   Exactly how many times have you done something simply because "it was the right thing to do"? That's right. Never. Even Christians don't do the right thing because "it's the right thing to do," but because we love the Lord. Right for right's sake has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with it.

   This is why, even though I love Captain America, a lot of people think he's boring. Because everything he does is because it's "the right thing to do." (I contend that he does the right thing not for the sole virtue of "the Right", but because he loves freedom and his country and despises bullies, but that's neither here nor there.) Contrast this with the Guardians of the Galaxy:

 
   Guardians of the Galaxy was far from boring. In fact, it was wildly successful beyond Marvel's biggest expectations. There are many reasons for this, but one of them is definitely because someone was finally saving the galaxy for a relatable reason.

   **Spoilers for Avengers: Infinity War ahead**

   Avengers: Infinity War is pretty much the ultimate save-the-world story. Thanos wants to destroy half the population of the universe and the universe's mightiest heroes do their level best. Yet none of the characters, superheroes no less, seem to be doing it because "it's the right thing to do." Thor tries to stop Thanos because Thanos murdered every one of his people (including his brother). Bruce Banner joins the fight to stop Thanos because he witnessed the murder of the Asgardian people and can't stand that happening to Earth. Tony Stark, Dr. Strange, and Spider-Man try to stop Thanos because their city is attacked by a giant alien spaceship. The Guardians try to stop Thanos because he's committed planet-wide murder in their galaxy for a long time, he's the stepfather of Gamora and she's learned all his plans, they came across the murder of the Asgardians and realized Thanos is fianlly trying to murder half the galaxy, and they have a healthy wish to not die.

   So if you want to write a save the world story people will actually care about...

   Make. It. Personal.

Cover Reveal Time!!!

   One of my most favorite authors is releasing a book soon, and IT'S SO EXCITING!!! Seriously, I can't wait for this book to come out. I just know it's going to be amazing. How do I know? Well, the cover just proves it. It's amazing too! When this book comes out, you're going to want to buy it.

   And now, the moment you've all been waiting for...no, I'm not going to be mean this time...Here is the cover!!!

  About the book: 
A prince cursed to sleep.

 A princess destined to wake him.

 A kingdom determined to stop them.

 High Prince Alexander has been cursed to a sleep like unto death, a curse that will end the line of the high kings and send the Seven Kingdoms of Tallahatchia into chaos. With his manservant to carry his luggage and his own superior intelligence to aid him, Alex sets off to find one of the Fae and end his curse one way or another.

 A hundred years later, Princess Rosanna learns she is the princess destined by the Highest King to wake the legendary sleeping prince. With the help of the mysterious Daemyn Rand, can she find the courage to finish the quest as Tallahatchia wavers on the edge of war?

 One curse connects them. A hundred years separate them. From the rushing rivers of Tallahatchia’s mountains to the hall of the Highest king himself, their quests will demand greater sacrifice than either of them could imagine.

Release Date: May 28, 2018
 
About the author: Tricia Mingerink is a twenty-something, book-loving, horse-riding country girl. She lives in Michigan with her family and their pack of pets. When she isn’t writing, she can be found pursuing backwoods adventures across the country. You can connect with her on Facebook, Pinterest, Goodreads, Twitter, Instagram, and her blog. To make things even more exciting, Tricia Mingerink is going to be co-hosting a blog tour from May 22 to 28 with Sarah Addison-Fox to celebrate the release of both of their latest books. Her next book Dissociate releases May 22. More details about blog tour will be coming in April.

The Worth of a King Cover Reveal

   Hello, weary adventurers! You are one of the lucky few, the brave persons that have followed through to gaze upon this wondrous sight. Be prepared. It will not be easy. It has been said to burn the souls of the unready. Steel your hearts and prepare to gaze upon The Cover of The Worth of a King.

...

...

...

   What, you didn't think it would be this easy, did you? You must earn the honor of resting your eyes upon this natural man-made wonder, only bestowed upon the most persevering and hard-working. First you must suffer through the evil book description!

   Princess Obsidia’s father was killed the night she was born. Since there was no male heir, the crown went to the man who killed him, by Dialcian law. This never bothered her, growing up, and when it comes time for Obsidia to choose her husband, she chooses Prince Delaney, the son of that man, with little hesitation. Only then does her life start crumbling around her.
   Adrian expected to live a normal life, taking his father’s place at the print shop when his father retired. But, on his eighteenth birthday, when the princess’ engagement is announced, his world is ripped out from under him when he learns that his life was a ruse, and he is the twin brother to the princess – and expected to take back his father’s throne.
   Delaney knows that his country is hovering on the brink of war – and that his father may harbor murderous intentions towards his intended bride due to her Zovordian blood. He wants nothing more than to protect Obsidia and his people, but as merely prince, he has little power against his father.
   The ancient war between the Dragons and the Immortal King and Queen is nearing its climax, and the three are already caught in it.

   The nefarious book release date!

August 27^th

   And the diabolical author description, more evil than the author herself!

Kendra E. Ardnek loves fairytales and twisting them in new and exciting ways. She's been or acting them on her dozen plus cousins and siblings for years. "Finish your story, Kendra," is frequently heard at family gatherings. Her sole life goal has always been to grow up and be an author of fantasy and children's tales that glorify God and His Word.

Find her online at: Website || Blog || Goodreads || Facebook || Twitter || Amazon

   You must brave the perils of The Opening Chapter...

https://knittedbygodsplan.blogspot.com/2018/02/the-worth-of-king-chapter-1.html

   Wend your way through the treacherous Snippet...

True,” said Jerolin, shrugging. “It shall be good to finally see the place of our birth. To finally see if it’s really as grand as mother’s stories.”

“Indeed,” Christa muttered. “A single building that could hold our entire village thrice over, rooms the size of houses, women wearing jewels worth more money than men in the village might see in two lifetimes … it all sounds too much to be true.”

“You’ll be able to judge for yourself, soon enough,” said Jerolin. “The size, I can believe, but how can rocks be worth that much money? Who would possibly buy them?”

“People who gain their wealth through taxes instead of honest labor,” Adrian put in. “And the people who wish to impress them.”

Such was the world that he’d been born into, the world he might have and even should have grown up in. Adrian shuddered.

   Suffer the sight of the hideous Pinterest Pin...

Eye color was an important decision that Jack and I had to make regarding Adrian and Obsidia. We finally settled on hazel green as I had too many characters with brown eyes, and she had too many with green. Or, at least, I THINK that's how the conversation went. It's been a few years. Via Pinterest

   And slay the terrible guardian dragon named Add the Book on Goodreads!

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32739875-the-worth-of-a-king 

  
   Congratulations, adventurer.
   You have now successfully won your way through the twisty canyons of Cover Reveal and now have been deemed worthy to gaze upon the Revealed Cover in all its glory. Do not rush this moment. It will be all the more worth it for the waiting.
   Now prepare yourselves...do not get excited...it is just around the corner...

   You have been truly blessed. I hope this experience changes your life. Perhaps you desire to gaze upon this sight again. Alas, the ancient laws prevent a traveler from journeying the same path more than once. But do not fear! Many other avenues lead to this glorious sight. None of them are easy, but they are all very worth it. I regret that I cannot do more than guide you to the starting points of these paths. Good luck, adventurer, and brave journeying!

Savannahjaysworkshop
Dreams and Dragons
Unicorn Quester
Kiri Liz
Morgan Elizabeth Huneke
Read, Write, Laugh, Dance
Elvish Pens, Fantastical Writings
Books, Baking, and Cowgirl Boots
Jenelle Schmidt
Reality Reflected
Jessica Greyson
The Music of a Story
The Flowering Vales
The Rambling Rose
Written Rest
The Labyrinth
Bible and Books
Jaye L. Knight

The 2018 Writing Scene

   Some of you may know that I have been working on rewriting the draft of a story I entitle Condemned Patriot Book One: Awakened. I have since learned that I have absolutely no love for one of the two (or maybe three) protagonists of the book. I have further learned that it is impossible to write a satisfactory book when you do not care for one of the protagonists in question. Writing of this book has since been tabled.

   I have abstained from writing Awakened for most of the holidays, and over the course of the past month or so, have been slowly learning to love my poor neglected protagonist. I expect in the next few months, I will be attached to her and be able to build up her story and continue writing. In the meantime, you can be satisfied with my Pinterest boards for the story and a snippet:

   “I’m no fool, Mr. Larak,” the arrogant young officer said. “Give us all the papers in your desk and reveal to us where you illegal terroristic textbooks are, and perhaps I won’t take further action.”

   The last of Peter’s hope died. They knew it all, then. There was no saving this situation. If only the students stayed frozen at their desks and they didn’t discover the gun in Mr. Larak’s desk, they might escape with their lives.

   Mutt growled, his hackles rising. He stared at the policemen near the door.

   “Shut up, Mutt,” Peter hissed. He placed his foot on Mutt’s harness leash. His heart pounded so hard it almost burst in his chest.

   “I can’t do that for you.” Mr. Larak’s voice shook.

   Peter uncurled his fingers of their death grip of his pencil so he could pet Mutt and calm him down. He placed the pencil down and snaked his hand out.

   The arrogant young officer strode down one of the aisles and stopped beside Peter’s desk. He strode in front of it and pulled his pistol out.

   Peter stilled. He stared up at the man, barely breathing. The man’s face was hard, his eyes unreadable.

   The arrogant young officer placed the barrel of the pistol against Peter’s forehead. Peter’s muscles froze. Slowly, he forced his shaking hands into plain sight to lie flat on his desk. He stared at the top of his test paper.

   “Let me repeat my command.” The arrogant young officer’s voice filled with steel. “Give me all the papers in your desk and reveal to us where your illegal terroristic textbooks are, or I shoot the boy with the service dog.”

   I've started working on a different story while Awakened is on hold. It's temporary title is Sacred Truths. It has to do with slavery and politics and mines and manors and is set in an equatorial fantasy country filled with jungles and stuff. Here, enjoy the tiny Pinterest board. The story is partially inspired by the movie Amazing Grace, which is personally one of my favorites. The characters are ones I really love, and I'm really enjoying working intimately with politics. I currently have the British pages on how a bill becomes a law in their country bookmarked as research for this story. I don't exactly have a plan, but I think writing this book is going to be a fun ride. 

   I hope to have the draft of Awakened I've been working on finished by the end of the year. Other than that, I have no writing plans.

   So long, farewell, and have a snippet as you go!

   (from Sacred Truths)

   The open windows did nothing to relieve the heat of the sun oppressing the stuffy senate chamber. Edmund loosened his neckerchief and rested his chin back on his hands. Weariness overtook him and his eyes slid closed.

   “We cannot allow this bill to destroy the livelihoods of our mines.”

   Edmund jumped and focused on Lord Duilo Brook, still railing against some boring mining bill in the well. Wasn’t debate over this bill supposed to have been tabled fifteen minutes ago?

   Edmund glanced around the half-circle of legislative desks. Most of the legislators had their heads pillowed on their desks or tilted back in their chairs, sound asleep. The slaves and legislative aides were also nodding or fast asleep.

   Edmund glanced over at Ronny beside him. He was chewing on a thumbnail and staring wide-eyed at Lord Brook. Edmund elbowed him.

   Ronny started and glanced over at Edmund. “What? What is it?”

   Edmund leaned over. “Should I stand up and say something?”

   “Only if you don’t want me to be sound asleep when you present your bill on the floor,” Ronny said.