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Showing posts with label book reviews. Show all posts
Showing posts with label book reviews. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 26, 2020

Poison's Dance Review

 

What are the Tattered Slippers?

The Tattered Slippers are six retellings of The Twelve Dancing Princesses by six different authors, each one fantastic and magical. You don’t want to miss any of them!

View the rest of the blog tour here: https://kendrasgiraffecrafts.blogspot.com/p/tattered-slippers-blog-tour.html



If he falls to the lure of the curse, the dance might trap him forever.

Alex has survived his first year as high king. The new counsel has improved cooperation between the kingdoms, and peace seems achievable. When the Tuckawassee queen sends him an invitation he can’t refuse, Alex must once again face his greatest threat for the sake of peace.

Princess Tamya of Tuckawassee, along with her eleven sisters, has danced from sunset until sunrise every night of her life. It is her gift and her curse. When Queen Valinda wishes to use the power their cursed dance gives them to rule all of Tallahatchia, Tamya must decide if she will do what is right even if it betrays her own sister.

Daemyn Rand has survived a hundred years' worth of battles. All he wants to do now is safely marry his princess. Will he be forced to choose between the love of his life and the high king he has loyally served for years?

They have faced certain death before. This time, they might not make it out alive.

Don’t miss this re-envisioning of the Twelve Dancing Princesses fairy tale.

My Review:

All right. This book clinched it. Alex is basically King Arthur (a la BBC). Not saying why until the end under a spoiler tag, but...yup. He's Arthur.

Alex has friends! Actual friends! I'm so proud of him! He's not lonely anymore! This book is definitely my favorite so far. So much Alex!

Gah! I'm not sure how much I can talk about this book without spoilers. My favorite part was at the end!

Alex is growing so much. He's earning his people's respect and working hard and pulling the nation together...

Daemyn's actually starting to grow pretty close to Alex, which makes me happy. Friendships are give and take, after all.

Was there more to this book than Alex? Yes. Do I care? No.

I really loved the portrayal of love in this book. Not saying much because spoilers, but single lady representation, people. It's super rare in books. I really appreciate that it's here in this book.

SPOILERS

Gah, so the part where Alex drank the hemlock? EPIC. Such an Arthur thing to do. Remember that episode with the unicorn where there's a glass of "poison" and Merlin tries to tell Arthur to let him drink it, but Arthur says, "You know me, Merlin. I never listen to you," and drinks it anyway? Yeah. Basically this. Daemyn's like, "I knew the other shoe would drop, I've died multiple times, it's better that I die anyway, I'm not the High King, just give me the poison," and Alex goes, "Nope," and downs it all. I'm so proud of him and that is definitely my favorite part, but AAA! He came so close to dying, y'all! I once read a Dear America book where a bunch of little kids got poisoned by water hemlock, so I knew the potency of the poison and that there's NO FREAKING ANTIDOTE. NONE. And yet this guy drank the poison. Wow.

END SPOILER

Just read this book. You won't regret it.

Buy the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Poisons-Dance-Dancing-Princesses-Retelling-ebook/dp/B0873YZKZS/

Add Book on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/53251983-poison-s-dance?

Tricia Mingerink is a twenty-something, book-loving, horse-riding country girl. She lives in Michigan with her family and their pack of pets. When she isn't writing, she can be found pursuing backwoods adventures across the country.
Find her online at: Website ||  Goodreads || Facebook || Twitter || Instagram || Amazon 

 

 




Monday, September 30, 2019

Why I Don't Like Harry Potter (Hint: It's Not the Magic)



  I was never banned from reading Harry Potter as a kid. I remember all the hullaballoo when the last book in the series was coming out and everyone was reading it. The commercials for all the movies were on TV when I was growing up. My mom said if I really wanted to read it, I could. But I didn't. See, I loved fantasy to death, still do, probably always will, but I never was interested in Harry Potter. The commercials on TV for the movies didn't intrigue me, they freaked me out. They looked really dark and they disturbed me. The commercials for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince especially creeped me out. And my mom said she'd read the first book, and while she didn't see the problem with the magic a lot of Christians brought up, she felt that Harry Potter was not a good person, that he used his magic for revenge and the whole book was filled with ends-justifies-the-means philosophy.
   I got older, read a lot more fantasy, and saw the Harry Potter books at pretty much every Goodwill I ever went to. I started watching Studio C and they brought up Harry Potter in several of their sketches. And soon I acquired a new reason I didn't want to bother with Harry Potter: it sounded boring. And completely unoriginal. My sister working at the library saw snippets of the books while gluing them and wasn't intrigued at all.
   Fast-forward to a couple of weeks ago. I'd been tossing around the idea of reading it for a while. After all, it is a cultural phenomenon, and I'd like to understand all the references I can't escape from. And I would like to be able to take a stand in the magic debate over Harry Potter. So I finally bit the bullet and read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.
   Oh glory.
   Let's get the magic out of the way: all of the hullaballoo about the magic of Harry Potter is just that. There's nothing about it that makes me uncomfortable. The wizards and witches aren't drawing power from the devil to power their magic. They are born with the ability to do magic. Simple as that. They go to Hogwarts to learn how to do it better, like having a natural talent with the piano and taking lessons to use that and improve. And there is a part of magic that is dark magic that the good characters are not supposed to do, and they only keep stuff about it at Hogwarts so they can know how to defend against it. I think the terminology is mainly what scares most Christians (witches, wizards, and the very word "magic"). The spells that are supposedly "real spells used by real witches" are just Latin or Greek words, sometimes altered a bit or paired to sound better. The only actual "spell" is Avada Kedavra, which is the original form of, you guessed it, abracadabra. Apparently the original purpose was to cure illness and J.K. Rowling twisted the meaning a little to suit her book purposes. It might be lazy writing, but it's certainly not actual witchcraft. If the magic was the sole mark against the book, I would have no qualms handing this book to a small child.
   But of course it's not just the magic. That wasn't the reason my mom didn't like it, after all. And it's not the reason I didn't like it, either.
   Here we go. (Spoiler warning, by the way. Don't read any further if you don't want the book spoiled for you.)

   The first chapter is completely pointless. It doesn't need to be there. All the information in it is shared again later in the book. It doesn't even really have the main character in it. It serves no point and could have been cut completely.

   Also, the way Dumbledore handled the whole thing with Harry's custody was completely horrible. If he was just going to leave Harry to be raised by Muggles anyway, why did he send Hagrid to get Harry before the officials could arrive at the scene only to dump Harry on the Dursley's doorstep and go away? If Dumbledore was going to knock on the door and explain to the Dursleys everything that happened, maybe consider actually telling them about the death of their family in person, delivering Harry like that might have made sense. But no, he just wrote a letter and left a baby on a literal doorstep, expecting everything to be all right. If he had just left Harry to the Muggle foster care system, Harry might have ended up with relatives or a foster family that actually wanted him. At the very least, the Dursleys would have had to choose to take Harry in, which might have made them a little less resentful towards him.
   Once we finally get to truly meet the main character, we are clobbered over the head with how abused Harry is and how we need to feel sorry for him. Well, I don't. No, the Dursleys aren't all that nice to Harry, but they aren't really that abusive, either. So he sleeps in a closet. Big deal. He's fed and clothed, and the worst abuse he gets is from bullies at school, which happens to too many kids to make him an object of pity. Percy Jackson was abused much more by his stepfather than Harry ever is by his family. Compared to him, Harry's doing pretty great.
   And you know what? I'm just going to say it. Harry Potter doesn't have much of a personality.
   
   Yeah, yeah, I know, he's the main character, but he's a cardboard cutout with a scar and an undeserved talent and a tendency to jerkiness and bad behavior. Never once in the whole book does he do anything remotely heroic. And actually, he's kind of a brat.
   Sure, Dudley's a spoiled brat, but Harry's no better. The first time we see poor wittle orphan Harry actually do something, he's screaming at his uncle to give him his letter. He didn't even try asking nicely, no, simply resorted to screaming at the top of his lungs. He's sarcastic and rude, and he's frankly horrible. Once he learns about the existence of magic, he immediately is drawn to a book all about curses and is upset when Hagrid drags him away from it because he wants to learn how to curse his family. He develops an immediate hatred of Draco Malfoy even though he hadn't done much yet except be a snob. Harry hopes throughout the year that Draco will get expelled or fail his exams.
   Harry constantly sneaks around and breaks the rules, sometimes just so he can show Draco Malfoy up. Even when he's not sneaking out to duel with Draco Malfoy, he's meddling in things that are none of his business. He doesn't need to know anything about the attempted thefts at the Gringotts bank. He's a kid, and if the adults aren't telling him things, that's because it's none of his business. There's only one point in the book where he actually considers following the rules, and that's portrayed as a bad thing. (Thank goodness Harry snapped out of it! Imagine if he actually considered properly respecting authority!) That's one of the worst things about it. There's nothing wrong with kids making mistakes and learning from them, breaking the rules and being punished. But Harry never actually is punished. When a teacher tells the kids to stay on the ground and not fly around to prevent injury to themselves and others, Harry gets in a fight with Draco Malfoy, is caught flying pretty high up in the air, and, when pulled aside by the teacher, doesn't get scolded at all. No, the teacher breaks the rules herself to reward him by putting him on the quidditch team, even though first-years aren't allowed on the quidditch team. When Harry breaks many, many rules by breaking through all the defenses for the sorcerer's stone (mostly by using his friends, because apparently Harry is incapable of doing any actual magic besides flying), he's not punished. Not even a "you delayed Voldemort so good for you, but you also broke many rules, so you're also going to be punished, because rules are there for a good reason and we don't want you getting the idea you can break them whenever you want." No, Harry gets rewarded. Rewarded! For breaking the rules and hurting his friend. Sure, Dumbledore, Harry's a real hero.
   That leads to another bad thing: Harry is a teacher's pet, and one of the biggest Mary Sues I've ever seen. He's such a teacher's pet that he concludes the one teacher that doesn't like him must be allied with Voldemort and trying to kill him, when really that teacher was trying to save his ungrateful life. Everybody but Snape loves Harry. Harry is rich and famous. Harry's very talented with magic. Harry's parents were great wizards. Harry defeated Voldemort as a baby and almost killed him. Harry saved the Sorcerer's Stone. (Actually, Harry endangered the Sorcerer's Stone. The Mirror of Erised was the only way to get it, and Quirrel couldn't get it when he looked into it. Even with all the other defenses gone, it was still well-protected until Harry blundered in.) Harry got into the best magic school out there without even applying. Harry's in the best house in said school. Harry was given an invisible cloak and the best broomstick out there by his teachers. Harry won the quidditch game. Sure, Harry flubbed it up by being caught breaking the rules, but he won the house championship anyway by breaking the rules again. And Harry defeated Voldemort (again!) by doing absolutely nothing (again!) because his mother loved him very much and that means evil people can't touch him. Or something. (Which doesn't make much sense, but most things in this book don't make sense.) Most of the teachers love him. Dumbledore gave him an invisible cloak. Yes, his father used to own it, but did it never occur to Dumbledore that maybe he should wait until Harry is older and more mature to give him such a powerful gift with such potential for abuse? And the whole quidditch thing is ridiculous. Quidditch is supposed to be hard and take hard work to get good at. But special little Harry, who's never even heard of quidditch until a few weeks ago, can fly and play and be the best Seeker Hogwarts has ever seen just because apparently his dad was good at quidditch.

   Skill with quidditch or soccer or any other sport can't be passed down through genetics like a good nose or a nice singing voice. And just because Harry has some talent doesn't mean he should be able to master a sport like that. It should take him years of training and strategy and practice and actually working out to get a skill level like that in a sport, or in anything, really. I have some talent with the piano, but it took eleven years of lessons to get to the skill level I'm at today. And if I have kids, they aren't going to be able to just sit down at the piano and play Maple Leaf Rag just because I can play it after many years of practice. It doesn't work like that in the real world and it shouldn't work like that with Harry, either.
   But don't worry, haters of Mary Sue-ness and magic in general. Aside from the flying and one accident with a snake, Harry performs no magic whatsoever in the book at all. He's shown attempting a grand total of one spell, and that's an epic failure. Ron's the one that defeated the troll, and Hermione's the one that unlocks the doors and stops poor Neville from doing the right thing, and Ron wins the chess game, and Hermione solves the puzzle. All Harry does is play the flute badly and meddle in things that are none of his business. Oh, and live. The Boy Who Lived is very good at living. I can't believe he's considered the hero in all this. He doesn't even defeat Voldemort at the end. Dumbledore does that. Harry just manages to live long enough to be rescued.
   Let's talk about Voldemort, shall we? Does anyone actually know what he's trying to do? I get that he kills lots of people, and that's not good, but why? What does Voldemort actually want? What is his purpose? Does he want to take over the wizarding world or all of the world or does he just like killing people? Most dark lords have a purpose and a plan, but I really can't figure out what in the world Voldemort was ever trying to do.
   There are other things in the book that are just too convenient. How considerate of Voldemort to wait until Harry had figured out his plan to make his move! He could have made his move any time after he figured out how to calm Fluffy, or any time after he drank the unicorn blood. He could have lured Dumbledore away from Hogwarts with a note any time, but he considerately waited until Harry knew about it so he could warn Dumbledore and follow Voldemort. How kind of him!
   On that note, how in the heck did Quirrel get through Snape's defenses? Harry and Hermione said there was only enough potion in the bottle for one person to drink, and Harry drank it. There was no sign that Quirrel had ever been there.
   Rowling seems to have confused the old writing adage of "Show, don't tell," into "Tell, don't show." Or perhaps she was just being lazy. Very little is actually shown in the story. Hermione figuring out Snape's defense isn't shown. The chess game isn't shown. The quidditch games aren't shown. Harry's "torturous" classes with Snape aren't shown. Hermione actually becoming close friends with Ron and Harry isn't shown (she just says, "There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other," ignoring the fact that not being hostile to each other anymore and becoming close friends are two different animals). The school's hatred for Harry isn't shown. It's no wonder people say the movie is better than the book. Movies have to show things!
   Then there's the fact that Harry's instinctual magic can only be used via negative emotions, and the fact that Hogwarts is socialist. Don't believe me? They practice collective punishments and rewards for each house. Students don't have demerits, they get points taken away from their houses. If students do something good, points go to the collective house pool. If houses win quidditch games, they add points to the pool. If students are caught sneaking out at night, they lose points from the pool. Gryffindor's legitimate quidditch win is taken away because Harry was caught sneaking around at night. No wonder the students start to hate him. Afterwards, Slytherin wins more quidditch matches, so they win the "house championship", a contest designed to reward houses for being over-all better than all the other houses. Nothing wrong with sports championships, guys. And in the end, in the most contrived happy ending I've seen, Dumbledore steals the championship from Slytherin by giving loads of points to Harry "for courage", Hermione "for logic", Ron "for being good at chess", and a little to poor Neville for actually doing the right thing. So of course Gryffindor wins the cup, not evil Slytherin. Which is another thing. Why is there a bully house at Hogwarts? Hagrid straight up tells Harry, "Oh yeah, all the nastiest magicians come from there and everyone in Slytherin's a jerk." Why even have that house if all it does is encourage bad behavior (even more than the rest of the school)? The demeaning attitude towards Slytherin surely doesn't help matters any. And the demeaning attitude towards muggles is not okay, either. The wizarding world isn't real! Why is J.K. Rowling racist towards anyone that's not a part of it? And Hogwarts isn't the only magic school. Why do they ban people from using their natural talents over the summer or if they're expelled? That seems oppressive and wrong.
   And last but not least, the most stupid thing of all is the fact that the wizarding world is kept secret. Why, Harry asks, doesn't anyone know about magic? Well, Hagrid says, if muggles knew about magic, they'd want to use it to solve all the world's problems. What exactly is the point of having magic if you're not willing to help people with it? What do wizards do when they graduate from Hogwarts? Just help the wizarding world? Go around cursing people that were mean to them? It sounds like a lazy excuse to have the wizarding world a secret, not a good reason. More lazy writing, if you ask me.
   I'll end this with something from the end of the book. The Dursleys come to pick up Harry at the end of the school year. Uncle Vernon doesn't gush over Harry's return and is impatient to leave. Hermione's response? She is "shocked that anyone could be so unpleasant."

   I'm shocked that anyone could be so unsubtle about how sorry we're supposed to feel for Harry and how awful the Dursleys are(n't).

   Some say that it doesn't get good until the third book, so I might try continuing the series. But I certainly wouldn't recommend this book to anyone, much less give it to a small child. There are a few somewhat entertaining aspects, but they are overwhelmed by the bad writing and bad morals. I can somewhat understand why kids like it, because they don't know any better, but all the people that read this as teens or adults? Why? There's not really that great friendship, and it's not good vs. evil. There aren't good people in this book (besides maybe Neville). Most of it is boring anyway. I just don't understand how this series got so popular. Must have been the marketing.
   (Sorry for the very long post, I had a lot to say, and didn't really think it should be split in two.)


Tuesday, August 6, 2019

Midnight's Curse is Here!!!

Midnight's Curse Blog Tour Mock-Up


Welcome to the blog tour for Midnight's Curse, book two in the Beyond the Tales series by Tricia Mingerink. Beyond the Tales is a series of fairy tale retellings with hints of allegorical elements set in a world based on the Appalachian Mountains. Don't miss the giveaway at the end of this blog post nor the invite to the Facebook party for more giveaways!


About the Book

Midnight's Curse_Internet Use
   The glass slippers might be her dreams come true...or her worst nightmare. 
   High King Alexander rules the Seven Kingdoms of Tallahatchia—a divided nation on the brink of yet another war. When an invitation arrives from the king of Pohatomie, Alex knows it must be a trap, but could it also be his opportunity to unite the kingdoms? 
   Daemyn Rand has lived a hundred years, served an arrogant prince, fallen in love with a princess, and lost himself somewhere along the way. He has already died for his loyalty. Will standing at the high king’s side cost him his last chance to truly live? 
   Elara Ashen is a lowly, miserable servant. All she wants is to spend even one night in a fancy dress dancing with the high king. When she is offered a pair of glass slippers, it seems that all her dreams have come true. 
   But dreams have a price, and gifts can be curses in disguise. What will it cost to stop this curse from tearing Tallahatchia apart yet again? 
   Fairy tales meet the Appalachian Mountains in this adventurous fantasy retelling of the classic Cinderella story.

My Review
Probable spoilery, sorry, I'm too emotional about this book to keep it all in.
   This book wins the prize of the first book to genuinely make me cry. Plenty of books have made me tear up, especially ones I read when I'm hormonal, but this one genuinely made me cry! Nobody died either, that I can remember. Alex was just so lonely! It was awful. This whole mess could have been avoided if anybody around him had reached out and been his friend. For Pete's sake, he's just slept through a hundred years and lost almost everyone he ever knew, not to mention he's just had his heart broken by a women that wasn't good enough for him (yeah, that was technically a hundred years ago, but still). Surely somebody should have realized how much he was hurting, but no, the only person in his life in a real position to see his pain, Daemyn, was too afraid of what their relationship used to be like to be the bigger person and reach out to Alex. Poor Alex suffered because of it.
   Daemyn has grown on me from the first book when I didn't like him because he destroyed my ship, but gosh. Why did it take him an entire book for him to realize he needed to be a friend to Alex? The poor guy's never actually had a friend before. What makes Daemyn think Alex is going to know how to reach out in friendship to the people around him? And Zeke certainly didn't help with his "Feels just like old times. Well, almost," as they all sat around the campfire, then his pointed look at Alex. Way to make a guy feel welcome.
   I can really see the Merlin parallels. Alex and Daemyn's relationship is like Arthur and Merlin in season one, if Merlin had ever accepted the quiet servant role instead of constantly mouthing off to Arthur. Merlin certainly never struggled with his role quite like Daemyn does. And Alex, poor Alex reminds me so much of Arthur, especially with his seeming propensity to be enchanted. The scene with the fountain was definitely something that could have happened in Merlin. Daemyn and Rosanna is like if the Merthian (Merlin/Mithian) ship had ever sailed. We just need to find a nice servant girl for Alex.
   I admit, I did ship the wrong ship a little bit again, but in the end, I'm glad. Alex deserves a better girl than Elara. Sheesh. It shouldn't be that hard of a decision not to curse someone forever.
   Even though Alex's loneliness drove me to tears, it did lead him to learn an important lesson that relieves me a lot. And the people around him finally realized he needed friends and didn't know how to get them. So there's a happy ending, at least. And now I want the next book, provided it has Alex in it. I ship Alex/happiness, after all. Dude needs a happy ending. After all, he's the Once and Future King of Native American fantasy Albion. He needs his Guinevere, now that he's got his Merlin to keep him on the straight and narrow.


Dreamy green color forest

The first book in the series Dagger's Sleep, a Sleeping Beauty retelling where the prince is cursed to sleep and the princess must wake him, is on sale for $.99 on Kindle! Follow this link to snag this deal while it lasts!

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About the Author

Tricia Mingerink is a twenty-something, book-loving, horse-riding country girl. She lives in Michigan with her family and their pack of pets. When she isn't writing, she can be found pursuing backwoods adventures across the country. You can connect with Tricia on her blog, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Facebook Party!

The Facebook party should be a blast with giveaways of Midnight's Curse, Dagger's Sleep, and over ten other Cinderella retellings by indie authors! Follow this link to join the Facebook party.

Giveaway!

Blog Tour Giveaway
Enter to win signed copies of Dagger's Sleep and Midnight's Curse (it will be the actual copy, not a proof copy as shown) as well as a Currently Reading 4oz candle from Novelly Yours Candles. Due to shipping, the giveaway is open to the US only. Void where prohibited.

Blog Tour Schedule

Monday – August 5
Tuesday – August 6 – Release Day!
Wednesday – August 7
Thursday – August 8
Friday – August 9
Saturday – August 10

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Books I Wish I Hadn't Read

   It's been too long since I wrote a blog post. It's not been a great year and I'm not in a great mood (probably because pollen is stupidly high again #ihatespring), so why not write about all the books I loathe?

The Insider by Ridley Pearson
   I read the entire series, even fighting the dragging plot at times, waiting for the conclusion, and when I get to it, I'm confronted with this. First of all, who the heck crowd-writes a book? Crowd-funding I get, but crowd-writing? The author literally published his outline on the internet and had other people write it for him. In the places where he just copied and pasted the internet peoples' writing into the book (and it happened quite a bit), he credited them by putting their name down at the bottom of the page (which was incredibly distracting). It didn't help that the sentences were choppy and didn't fit together very well. He also randomly switched to present tense for this book, when all the rest of the books in this seven-book series were written in past tense. The plot was awkward, contrived, and unrealistic. There was a random maybe-betrayal by a very important character that was never explained at all. The characters were cardboard and, though the series spanned five or more years, they never changed. At the beginning of the series, the main character started a will-they-won't-they relationship, and after five years, he's still acting like a boy in the middle of puberty trying to ask his first crush out on a date. And he's been in a steady relationship with the same girl for FIVE STINKING YEARS. The all-anticipated event of the story was the appearance of Mickey Mouse, and even though literally every other Disney character the kids have encountered so far can talk, Mickey can't. Some all-powerful king-of-the-characters he was. What a humongous letdown. And at the end of this stupid book, I was whacked over the head with the "hint" that there was going to be another series, which I personally would rather shoot myself than read.
A Whole New World by Liz Braswell
   If the light-hearted fun adventure is what you love about Disney's Aladdin most, then this book is your worst nightmare. The first fourth of the book rehashes the movie while constantly changing little details for no good reason. Then, when it finally gets to the twist, it quickly takes a dive into the ridiculously dark. Right off the bat, Jafar murders the sultan, then cuts up the magic carpet, creates a zombie army, destroys Agrabah, tortures the genie and countless random citizens, and strips the genie of all his magical powers turning him human so none of this can be put right again. And at the end Jafar turns out to be crazy and talking to an imaginary Iago because he apparently murdered the real one so he could have a tiny glimpse into the future that didn't seem to affect the story any. The other characters aren't anything like they were in the movie, either. I'm not sure if Aladdin lies even once, and in this version of the story, he directly causes the death of a cop friend (he's a street rat, he shouldn't have a cop friend) by knocking a pillar onto him, which crushes him. #lightheartedfamilyfun Jafar is a psychotic murderer, Jasmine is a revolutionary (???), and, apparently, Aladdin's dad ran off and left him. This is an adaptation of a Disney movie for crying out loud. He's supposed to be dead! They're always dead! Ugh. Some of the Twisted Tales are good, but not this one.
Walden by Henry David Thoreau
   I bet you didn't know that sunlight reflects off water. Henry David Thoreau did, which is why he's better than you.
   Thoreau is ridiculously contradictory ("People should never cut down trees!" Borrowed an ax from his neighbor so he could cut down trees around his pond. "Trains are awful and noisy and loud and I hate them!" Can't be bothered to move further into the wilderness to where he won't be able to hear the trains anymore. "People should do whatever I want, you shouldn't just emulate what I'm doing, but if you're not doing what I am, you're stupid."). He's also weird. Who loves wasps? They are not a thing to be invited into bed with you! Also, he never locks his door so people can come in and stay whenever, and condemns any who do, defending his decision with "I only got stolen from once!" You may like to get stolen from, but I, good sir, do not. When there were several feet of snow on the ground and impending snowstorms, Thoreau tramped ten miles through the woods on snowshoes to visit his favorite trees. He's also incredibly boring. Nobody cares that he spent 8.74 on groceries for eight months. Or how much he spent on bricks. He certainly doesn't need to defend his spending a bunch on watermelons. He doesn't need to tell everyone that sunlight reflects off water like it's new information to us, or describe in detail his lengthy day hoeing beans. Frankly, no one really cares. And he's arrogant. He assumes that unless the reader is told, we're going to think that the Cicero that built a fence near Walden Pond is the same Cicero as the Roman philosopher that lived before Christ. And he assumes that anyone who is poor has committed crimes. This is a stupid, boring, pointless book that I hope never to read again.

Eldest by Christopher Paolini
   I had heard the name Eragon for a while, so I finally decided to read the series. MISTAKE. I wasted countless hours of my life reading this stupid series. Unfortunately, I rarely drop series, so I didn't drop this one. I wish I had. Eragon was like a Lord-of-the-Rings version of Star Wars, and this was like The Empire Strikes Back, except without all the excitement, and with an addition of a fun murderer as a side character. This book drags on and on and on. The whole point of the book is for Eragon to train with the elves so he can defeat the not-actually-evil government, but it takes hundreds of agonizingly slow pages for him to actually get there! And once he does, the training is agonizingly long and boring too. Also peppered with philosophical musings on any subject under the sun, like how all enlightened people (read: elves) are atheists, and how evil it is for Eragon to eat meat because he's *gasp* telepathic! There is one long section devoted to Eragon watching ants (smacks of Walden, methinks). The only kind of exciting parts are the parts with Eragon's cousin Roran, who almost gets his entire town murdered because he won't tell the police any information about his criminal cousin who stole a dragon egg (like, he's a legitimate thief). Then Roran decides to go on a murderous rampage (I wish I was exaggerating), slaughtering anybody who come in his way. He even counts his kills. Eragon spends the entire book whining about his random on-and-off agonizing back pain (which implausibly came from a sword wound to his back) and Arwen-I mean Arya's rejection of him. Yeah, cry me a river, Eragon. She made it clear from the moment she met you she wasn't interested. Finally, Eragon gets magically transformed into an elf, which gets rid of all his scars and also his chronic back pain. How does this happen, you may ask? Two identical twin elf girls strip and stand naked back to back and jiggle so the tattoo on their back can come to life and release the spirit of the dragon. I want to die right now. I actually own this book and I seriously want to burn it.

Brisinger by Christopher Paolini
   I was stupid enough to keep reading this series. As I said, I rarely drop series. Thankfully, there are no more naked elves in this book. Unfortunately, there's plenty of other awful things to make up for it. For instance, Eragon kills an animal to eat and feels so sorry for it because he's telepathic, so he decides to become vegetarian (although that could have happened in the last book; after all this time they blend together). Also, Eragon turns out to be super violent and even lets himself be possessed by a demon at one point so he can use more magic. He spends waaaaay too long making a magic sword, and every inch of the way is described in excruciating detail. Also, Paolini decided he was tired of being accused of writing Star Wars and decided that Luke Skywalker (I mean Eragon) wasn't actually the son of Darth Vader (I honestly can't remember the guy's name at this point). Instead, Obi-Wan was his father. Which makes no sense and is full of plot holes, but anyway. Roran, the violent cousin of Eragon, has apparently been sleeping with his girlfriend this entire time because "he might as well take liberties with her" since she's afraid of him doing that anyway and now she's pregnant. So Eragon performs a rushed marriage for Roran and his stupid girlfriend and Eragon is just wildly excited about the whole thing. Then the fun zombie army shows up. The metaphors and dialogue are ridiculous (the book actually has the dialogue "Die, puny humans!"), the exposition is everywhere, the book is super bloated, and the magic system is stupid at best. There's apparently this Ancient Language (which the elves speak in all the time) that is magic and shapes the world and if you say fire in it you get fire, and if you get pronunciations wrong, you might accidentally curse a baby to grow up fast and have powers instead of blessing it. Yeah. Also, it was ridiculously gory (partially because of the zombie army) and this might have been the one in which there was a bizarre cult in which the people constantly hacked off their limbs to show their devotion for their god. Are you grossed out? Because I'm grossed out. Also, Eragon is a self-righteous jerk. Just sayin'.

Inheritance by Christopher Paolini
   And enter the infamous fingernails. What am I talking about, you may ask? I am talking about the three LOOOOONG pages of description of a man's fingernails in excruciating detail. And the worst part of it? You don't even find out the character's name. This is in the completely irrelevant side plot of a minor character being tortured. Why she was fascinated with the man's fingernails is beyond me. But the fingernails come back. Every time the man is in her torture chamber, the stupid fingernails take center stage. How could they not when they've been described so thoroughly?
   If you can't tell, this book is just as bloated as the others. Eragon learns to manipulate reality with his magic Ancient Language (and still can't win the granite cliff of a girl he still hasn't stopped pining over), manipulates the emotions of a little girl, kills the bad guy with sadness, and finds some dragon eggs. There are also copious amounts of pages describing a former dragon's struggle coming to terms with his new life as an inanimate object. But as a plus, this book meant the end of the series (I hope).

Unwind by Neal Shusterman
   This book makes me want to puke. It was so so horrible. It was freaky and creepy and horrifying and it probably scarred me for life. It's not even remotely plausible, and yet... I'm getting shivers down my spine just thinking about it. The premise is that after a huge civil war in America over abortion, the two sides settled on a "compromise" in which abortion is illegal but 13- to 18-year-olds can be "unwound" (read: murdered), and then everything in their body is used as organ donation for somebody else. And apparently this appeased everybody. The guy wrote this book to make everyone think abortion is awful (which it is), but there's no way this book accomplishes that. Abortion is illegal in the world of this book, and no one even thinks about having one. Issues actually addressed in this book are: organ donation, suicide bombers, caffeine addiction, and (apparently) Frankenstein. He creates a straw man to destroy in this book in hopes it will make pro-choice people feel guilty. Nobody would ever agree to the "compromise" at the end of this war he talks about! Pro-life people like me see all life as sacred and would never agree to killing teenagers as an alternative to killing unborn babies. Pro-choice people would never agree to this as an alternative to abortions (what exactly is the point of killing the child after you've spent thirteen years raising them?). That doesn't fit with the beliefs of anyone on either side and therefore can't be a compromise. Also, the science is so false you couldn't sneeze at it. You expect me to believe you can just put a piece of someone's brain in someone else's brain and expect it to work? That there won't be compatibility issues? That psychologists and psychiatrists and brain surgeons didn't go, "This could be catastrophic for the mental health of patients with brain damage"? And the religious parts are even more disturbing. A debate throughout the entire book is whether "unwinding" (killing a kid and harvesting their entire body for parts) is death. Apparently, the consensus the author came to is "No," because at the end of the book, there's a whole collection of people who got a body part from this one kid in a room, and every single one of them is talking so that it's one monologue like the dead kid is talking and they actually remember memories of the dead kid's life. As if you get a kidney or a lung from a man and you suddenly share his soul. The entire book is just sick and wrong, and seems to be simultaneously scaring people away from organ donation and making them feel guilty for not being organ donors because "if more people had been organ donors, this never would have happened." There are other weird bits as well, like the fact that caffeine is considered a drug on the level of cocaine and is banned (say bye bye to chocolate). And "clapping", where people get their bodies filled with an explosive substance, go to a random place, clap their hands, and blow up. It's a weird form of suicide bombing that's apparently pretty popular, even though it's not religiously or politically motivated, so it's hard to know why anybody actually does it. And storking. Not explaining it because it's just too weird. Also, it's not even well-written. The characters are flat, the emotions are shallow, and the character arc of one kid is kind of unbelievable, probably only because it wasn't shown at all, so he just turns off-screen from a sweet little kid into a suicide bomber. I hate this book so much and it will haunt me forever. Apparently the next book is a ridiculously creepy-sounding Frankenstein retelling. I'd stay far away from this book.

   That was very therapeutic. I feel much better now. What are some books you intensely loath and why? Tell me in the comments!


Saturday, August 26, 2017

Firmament: Gestern Review



When I heard about this book's release, I knew immediately I had to be part of the action. The previous books in this series were wonderful, and this book didn't disappoint.

About the Book

You never escape your past
Andi Lloyd is more comfortable than most with interstellar travel, but she's not prepared for the perils and peculiarities of a world she has all but forgotten—the planet Earth. As the Surveyor undergoes repairs, her brother August receives a message with news that will send both of them across the world to a place he never wanted to visit again.

Neither of them are prepared to be thrust into a world of political intrigue amid the tangled forests and crumbling ruins of Austria. They aren't prepared to encounter wild animals and endure cross-country hikes. And they definitely aren't prepared to face it all alone.

But despite the dangers they must press on into the unknown to find a way to save Andi's life, to decide the fate of Earth itself—and to rescue a lonely girl who just happens to be their little sister.

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Review of Exiles and Interview with Jace

   That time has finally come! The time, that is, when my favorite author releases another book. I can't wait until I can hold this book in my hands!


Jaye L. Knight’s newest novel, Exiles, has been released! Exiles is the fourth book in the Christian fantasy series, Ilyon Chronicles. Read about it below and be sure to check out the other blog stops on the tour by visiting the official tour page. Don’t forget to enter the giveaway!

Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000040_00028]

About the Book
Exiled after their defeat in Samara, the Resistance struggles to find allies in their quest to restore King Balen to his throne and put an end to the emperor’s tyranny. When the crete people refuse to lend their aid, Balen leads a group to Dorland to reason with them and win their support. However, enemies prove to be everywhere, and they find themselves in a fight to keep Dorland from becoming Daican’s latest conquest.

Back in Landale, the arrival of a new enemy forces Trask and Anne to tread more carefully than ever. Tensions are rising, and the enemy is determined to test Anne’s loyalty and root out the location of Trask and the Resistance once and for all.

Feeling trapped within the walls of Valcré, Prince Daniel must contend with an ever-eroding relationship with his father. As their clashes escalate, the situation becomes potentially life threatening when his loyalty is called into question. His sister seems bent on branding him a traitor and actively seeking to condemn him to the fate of those put to death in their father’s new arena. Daniel is certain his father would never execute his only son and heir, but with other forces at work, it might not be that simple.

One small misstep could prove fatal for all.


Available now on Amazon!

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Haven’t discovered the world of Ilyon yet? The first three Kindle books are on sale August 11th - 14th!
You can find them on Amazon.

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About the Author
JayeAuthor2015Jaye L. Knight is an award-winning author, homeschool graduate, and shameless tea addict with a passion for Christian fantasy. Armed with an active imagination and love for adventure, Jaye weaves stories of truth, faith, and courage with the message that even in the deepest darkness, God’s love shines as a light to offer hope. She has been penning stories since the age of eight and resides in the Northwoods of Wisconsin.

You can connect with Jaye on her website, blog, Facebook, Twitter, and Etsy.





My Review

Oh. My. Goodness. This book is wonderful. Reading it was rather like going on Expedition Everest at the Animal Kingdom in Walt Disney World. Such an emotional roller-coaster.

In truth, I'd never understood the phrase "emotional roller-coaster" as referring to a book before. Now I know. Such highs and lows in such a short period of time! The book started out nice, slow, and pleasant (just like Expedition Everest does), but then takes an unexpected turn and sends readers on a wild ride! The emotional roller-coaster is due in part to the high death toll accumulated at the end of the book. One in particular was shocking and sad, and a certain other one completely took me by surprise. Let me just say, things can never be the same for our beloved characters after this book.

This book follows three different story lines, and, for all the many books I have read with multiple story lines, this is the first one I read where I was completely engrossed and interested in every one.

Our beloved characters are just as amazing as ever. Jace's struggles with the idea of marriage (and more than that, kids...) are honestly kind of adorable. Jace and Kyrin's relationship is as cute as ever, and if I don't stop now, I'll end up fangirling all over the place so I'll move on.

The plot, as I believe I mentioned before, was a roller-coaster ride. There were shocking plot twists, and near-death experiences. It was pretty epic.

In short, this book is amazing and y'all need to buy it as soon as possible. I certainly am going to.


I was also given the opportunity of sitting down with Jace and asking him a few questions. Check it out!


Welcome to my blog, Jace! I must say, it’s an honor to finally meet you. I’m glad you agreed to let me ask you some questions, so I’ll try not to ask too many uncomfortable ones.

*Jace’s smiles* Thank you, and you’re welcome.

What would you do if someone ever approached you asking to date your sister?

Well, that would depend on the man, and if I knew him well. I do want Elanor to be happy and have someone to take care of her. Of course, I would need to know if she had mutual interest. And I would probably have Kyrin talk to him to make sure he was honest and his intentions were honorable.

If a genie enslaved by the power of a magic lamp granted you three and only three wishes, what would you wish for (barring the obvious wish for more wishes)?

I would wish for peace in Ilyon and the ability to follow Elôm without persecution. I’d also wish that, if we were married, of course, to take Kyrin back to live on the farm by Kinnim. And, finally, I would wish for Kyrin to have her father back so she could have her family together again.

If you were given the ability to time travel, when would you go?

Back to the day Kyrin’s father left for Valcré. I would warn him of the danger and not let him go. That is, if I didn’t have those three wishes.

I’m sorry for being terribly mean, but I’m also terribly curious, so please don’t freak out too much. What would you do if you wound up in the arena again?

*Jace smiles slightly* I think I’m starting to get used to these questions. *he grows serious* I’m not sure what I would do. Facing a man in an arena is not like facing him on a battlefield. Neither one of us has a choice at being there. It’s not like facing a clear enemy. I’ve always wondered whether I was right to fight or if I should have refused despite the consequences. I don’t know what choice I would make now.

Again, I’m sorry for the question. Here are some shortbread cookies to make up for it. And finally, on a happier note, if your adorable wolf Tyra ever had a bunch of puppies (say ten or so), how many of them would you keep?

*he takes a cookie* Thank you. As for the puppies, it would depend on who else would take some. I wouldn’t give them to just anyone. But I would probably keep two or three.

I don't know what to say to wrap this whole thing up, so...I guess I'll just leave it at that.


Share in the excitement of the release and enter to win a themed giveaway pack! Prizes include an autographed copy of Exiles, a pewter dragon necklace by treasurecast, and a sword letter opener! (Giveaway is open to US residents only. Cannot be shipped internationally.)

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